Back with a Bang - 2

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Courtesy: A mail

Back with a Bang

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-*-*-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far a** kissing will take you.

A-*-*-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bulls**t and A** Kissing that will put you over the top.

ek se badhkar ek...

freshies dint show their enthu in anything other than just making a fun of themselves. but some of them realli pissed us off. it is assumed that th freshie is nervous in front of his seniors but some of them answer which proves idiocy not nervousness.
taking an example which happened some dez ago but i was not able to post due to a busy hectic schedule.
senior : who is our railway minister?
freshie(confidently): lal bahadur shastri. (he dint knw until ew told him who it was)

he dint know how many states india has. later he wanted a pen n a paper to count. he wrote 25 of them including the north eastern 7 but missing out some in the center. he had spelled 9 of them wrong. he had written 1 of the states as manipal. please dont get surprised coz theirs yet to come. state capitals was nice try.
he hadnt sung the national anthem since 5th class n he after bulbing a lot had told it was written by rabindranath tagore( lucky him!!!) but oops he had written it in telugu as told by our freshie.
he couldnt sing the national anthem full and had no idea what a republic day was.
no offense freshies but these things are supposed to be in ur permanent harddrive unlike ur pendrive. particularising the guy if u ever happen to read this : if u had paid 1/10th attention in ur primary school that u paid in jee things would have been dfrnt. gudluck
signing off

student becomes prof... lol

we were expectn our new applied mechanics prof. we wr all seated n chatting. then he enters. we all stand up n wish him good mornn. he lukd embarrassed n walked 2wrds us. i n my friends wr a bit,nt xctli scared,bt startled definiteli. he goes past us n sits on th back bench. tht is whn we realised he is a student. he had a huge moustache n bald head. we wrnt sorry 4 being confused so bad. the whole of the class ws laughng like hell n tht guy could jst manage a silly smile.

never expected sch thngs happen in real life also. seems ok in a muvie like munna bhai mbbs bt its reali hilarious whn it happens in real life. lollz

freshie interactions..lol

finalli i ws out of the so called freshie society n i realised i was on the other side. its jst bn sm dez so i perfctli undrstnd th position n their thought process n their reactions. so i m just sharing sm of my interactions vth them..k th dean is nt here..i mean th ragging sessions..

senior: r u gult??
freshie: no my dad is gult.

senior:differentiate x! (x factorial)
freshie:starts thinkin......
senior: take log on both sides.
freshie: (damn y dint i think of this) takes log n differentiates
differentiates log(x) as 1/x and log 2 as 1/2 n gives sm answer.

senior: what do i mean by a bog if i ask is water available in th bog?
freshie: urinary bladder

senior: hw many dimensions does a stone have?
freshie: 2 ( length n breadth)
senior: ok if i shove it up ur *** hw wud i know tht its gettin in??
freshie: shit...3

senior:hw many periods do u have in a day?
freshie: 8